Lost and Found

Funny old tea-time today.
Romany goes to ballet/tap on Tuesday - Cole and I do something of his choice...
(my Stupid Suggestion as he never chooses magazine reading/chardonnay drinking)
Tho he is very good company at colouring in which at least takes place sat down, but mainly we have to Move.
A Lot.

Last week it was football in the park - apprently I'm quite good.
What do you mean, he's a six year old boy and has no discretion?
I am clearly Bending It like Beckham.

Our Tuesday park also has a basketball hoop so we shoot some hoops -
I was goal shooter in netball 100 years ago, so I casually blow his mind with my goals...
Cole is Really Good at shooting hoops.
As he is abnormally large like his Dad
(No, really, not being heartless... he's huge.. just turned six, wears 8-9 clothes and size 3 shoe)
he has his Dad's natural height advantage - and a pretty good aim, which clearly comes from me.

As we got Ro changed at her dance class after school; her leotard was missing from her bag....
dum dum DUM....
How frustratingly cliched that motherhood Really Does involve an awful lot of "Put that straight back into your ballet bag, then we know where it is..." every Tuesday.
(Library book Thursday, spelling Tuesday, swimming Wednesday... blah blah blah.... how I had planned to inspire her and not nag....)
but I restrained from saying "I told you to blah de blah de blah..."
and then convinced her as she had her pink wrap-top and skirt - and her pants were cool groovy short style, it wouldn't matter she had no leotard on underneath, so off she went.

It was Cold and Windy.
So I told Cole we had to play inside - jedi-mind-tricked him with reminders of how the dust got in his eyes at the weekend in the wind (though we were not in fact anywhere near the building site that caused the dust... but hey, he's six, I'm not)
Went home, we played Wii Sports... he beat me a zillion times at Tennist - argue with Cole about the pronunciation cos I no longer care and only notice if someone calls it Tennis

Then we got a phone call from Ro's dance teacher saying she was upset.
This had never happened in the two years she's been going there.
We drove straight to pick her up early - the teacher told me she said she was crying as she was missing her Grandma Maxine.
Hmmmm...
on Mother's Day, I had been a bit sad, as was missing my Mum.
Ro saw me cry and I thought it best to be honest so I told her I still miss her.
Ro sadly never met my mum as I was only 12 when she died, but I talk about her lots.


I took Ro home from dance early, fed her her fave tea and then we had a cuddle and a chat.
Call it Mother's instinct but I gently said...
"And did you feel a bit silly and then sad cos you had lost your leotard and had to do it in your wrap and dance skirt?"
She immediately agreed....
"Yes! I couldn't raise my arms properly.... or tap dance properly"

I immediately felt that lovely mother's guilt....

I fell back on an old joke that always makes her smile even in her grumpiest-first-thing-in-the-morning-get Dressed Now" moments:
"Hey Ro... do you think anyone else in the world calls their knickers, "Knickington-knackington-noodles" like us?"

She laughed... and then made me say it again... and again...

Then I gently concluded:
"So, it was very sad today at dance because we miss Grandma Maxine? And a lot cos you felt a bit silly without your leotard?"
"Yes, my back kept showing and my knickington-knackington-noodles..."

"Anything else?"
"No, not really."

You see, it's sometimes a fine line what makes us feel upset.
She laughed out-loud when I told her I cried once when I spilt my corn-flakes - it's true. It was very sad.
I told her sometimes we can cry for lots of reasons - like when she was the angel in the christmas nativity play - or when Daddy had messed up the hire-car arrangements on arrival at Nice airport and we couldn't get our car (hold a grudge, moi?)

But I'm pretty sure, on this occasion, she cried cos her knickington-knackington-noodles were on show... no-one can do a good tap dance under those conditions - even with a living grandmother.
We are going to buy a new leotard this weekend.

These topics are not covered in parenting manuals - she's 8 now - and there will come a time, I'm sure when I can't guess which bits are really making her sad and it wont always be so easy to make her laugh.

I get the distinct feeling Cole will continue to respond pretty rapidly to some rice, chicken and peas or learning some new guitar chords or drum-playing.... so far, he's pretty goddamn clear, "Wow mum... you can play guitar. But you can stop now, I'm hungry."