Who's that girl

There is a girl about town and she looks like me.
She even has the same name as me.
She has a couple of kids that look exactly like mine.
She has a very tall, very handsome, but not very obedient husband with the same name as mine...

except...
when I am tucked up in bed or at home ironing...
This girl misbehaves:
She gets drunk on a school night.
She dances in people's front rooms when they only invited her round out of politeness.
She stays til the early hours.
She tells her children to "go away and watch TV downstairs" on a Sunday morning and bribes them with promises of afternoon delights...
which she does provide but this girl is Unorganised and her son has to pooh in Ilkley Bluebell Wood and she wipes his bottom with a fern.
This girl gave her children a cornetto for Sunday lunch and then took them to pizza express for tea - and only cos she had a 2-for-1 voucher.

This girl laughs at her poor 3 year old nephew when he can't wee standing up in the aforementioned wood - and doesn't help him when he resorts to complex press-up position to relieve himself.

This girl has a sister who looks exactly like mine, who encourages the heartless laughter and terrible parenting....
do not approach either of them - especially when they are together.
There is nothing that can be done.
Many have tried and failed.

Thank goodness she is nothing to do with me - I'm even pretty sure if That Girl had a blog, she wouldn't even use punctuation responsibly on her blog headings.